Living Tangerine Vs. The End of the WORLD!

23 Aug
In that… everything isn’t the end of the world, so why does it feel that way?

While talking to my friend Sarah last night about… well, let’s just say stuff. She mentioned that I was quick to write people off, if I didn’t agree with simply one of their character flaws. This is something I do, I have written people off in the past with hardly a whisper of regret, but then, the ever insightful Sarah says: “How would you feel if all your friends decided to write you off everytime you lost your temper?”

The first thing this prompted me to think was that it would suck to be written off for something as breif and fleeting as my temper flaring up. The second thing it made me ask was: “Wow, do I really lose my temper that much?”

You have to understand, I didn’t exactly grow up in the happiest of curcumstances. My childhood was disjointed, and unfriendly. My mother was constantly stressed with business, and wasn’t exactly a calm person. The calm influences in my life were usually out weighed by the aggressive ones… and so aggression became my outlet… which is deconstructive to say the very least.

But what’s the point? Why should I bother to get so angry about things that just don’t matter?

Some people say I should find religion, but I consider myself agnostic, and I’m not a huge fan of organized religion. If there is a God, I’ll talk to him in my own way. I’ve tried meditation before, but never made a habit out of it. My home itself is not very peaceful, and I already spend too much time doing nothing… So, short of carrying around a stress ball, or becoming hopelessly addicted to valium, I’m not sure what I can do.

What I do know is… calming down, clearing my view and taking a moment to think objectively and without emotion might actually improve not just my decision making, but also my relationships with others.

A quick Google search on relaxation techniques gives me a list that includes Yoga (Ha! yeah right…) Tai Chi (This one is plausible) Exercise (which tends to just stress me out more) Meditation, and Hyponosis (Although, I’m libel to pull a “Good Will Hunting” on any therapist that tried). To top off of these off, this article takes me that relaxation techniques take practice.

Practice? PRACTICE? Now if there’s one thing I’m absolutely terrible at, it’s practice. The only habit I’ve been successful at mantaining in my life is biting my nails.

So, something’s gotta give. All this goes hand in hand with the whols discipline thing, which by the way, was an epic failure last week. I did manage to get three workouts in, but my diet was a shambles, and I provided myself plenty of excuses not to write, work, read, or save money.

The plan is that by the end of the year I will turn myself into a cool-headed, balanced, disciplined human being. I hear Bruce Lee wrote some good material on the subject.

That being said, I know I’m funneling in some traffic from facebook. If you have any friendly suggestions, leave me a comment or send me a message.
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